As healers, we have the wonderful opportunity to both give and receive life-changing advice. I’d like to pay a bit of a tribute to those who have given me wonderful advice over the years.

Here are 7 pieces of advice that have served me well. I’d love to hear yours!

1) You can do or be anything you want - David Perriman (my dad)

Okay - maybe he overstated it a bit. After all I am 5′1″ tall so I doubt I will be playing pro basketball anytime soon. But my dad continually encouraged me and on the days that I think “I can’t”- I remember his words “You are living in a wonderful time - you can do anything you want.”

This advice helped me to become a Vice President of a major California bank in my 20’s. It helped me to start Be A Wealthy Therapist when the “therapist culture” did not embrace me. It encouraged me to start The Therapist’s Leadership Institute dedicated to enhancing the image of therapists and therapy in the general population. And my dad’s advice is what keeps me going today.

2) Choose your clients well - Byron Perkins, Ph.D

One autumn day, I was tearing my hair out after hospitalizing a borderline with suicidal intention. Actually, it was the third “very difficult” client I had seen that day. I saw Dr. Perkins in our suite hallway. I knew he saw at least twice as many clients a week as I did and he was always relaxed and had energy. I asked him “How do you see that many people and still look so well?” He smiled that supervisory smile and said “I pick better than you do, Casey.” Whoa! From that moment on, I made sure that the clients I chose would be ones I felt energized to work with. I found referrals for clinicians and agencies that enjoyed and felt called to work with the clients that zapped me of energy. I wouldn’t be here today without that advice.

3) Actively market your practice - Janeen Cunningham, MFT

In the early 1990’s when other clinicians were telling me the only way I would get clients is to a) get on managed care panels and b) wait for word of mouth referrals, Janeen gave me different advice. She encouraged me to get a business coach and discover how to market my practice to the community. The rest is history. I will always be grateful to Janeen for this advice.

4) Being stupid is sometimes a good thing - Lt. Columbo and others

Okay - I am a dork - an old dork - but I loved Columbo - the cop show of the 70’s. Lt. Columbo was a disheveled cop who looked like he was slow or on drugs - or both. But he was very smart and always caught the killer.

Many a client has heard me say “Help me understand… You say you want *this* but I am seeing *that*? I must be slow here and I am probably missing something - so can you help me to get it?” (This is said in a sweet, non-confrontative way with my Columbo ‘face’ on. In other words I look very confused.) Sometimes they smile. Sometimes they look confused too and start rethinking things. No matter what it has always been one of my favorite and non-threatening interventions. (And, by the way, it works in romantic relationships too.)

5) When you get worried about the money not coming in - go back to the vision and your mission. - Andrea Lee

Any student of quantum physics (or “positive thinking”) knows that we attract what we focus on. At the worst times, when the money simply was not coming in, I’d start to panic and run around and accept clients or do activities that made me look desperate. (Okay I was desperate but acting on it wasn’t helping.) When I pull back and ask “Why am I here on this planet? Why am I called to this work?” - then it comes to me. My passion returns - sometimes slowly like a soft breeze and sometimes it hits me like a cannon ball. As I focus on that passion and do activities that support the mission, the phone starts ringing and the money comes in. Every time. Thanks Andrea!

6) People want to give you money when you are interested in them - Pam Newcomb (my sister)

Many therapists tell me they are uncomfortable with networking because they don’t “do small-talk well.” So, while I did take 3 courses in “small talk” - the best advice I got on this subject was from my sister, Pam. She is a waitress and for many years made more than I did. Her secret? “Get people talking about themselves - the money will follow.” So, I encourage my clients to have a list of 5 questions to ask when they meet new, potential referral sources. For example, “What made you choose this work as your profession?” People love to feel heard as they tell their stories. As they feel heard, they like you. Keep in touch with them and they will remember you.

7) Contentment is often underrated - Lee Blackwell, Ph.D

When I find myself being sucked into drama (or truth be told, creating it) I remember these wise words from Dr. Blackwell. It is easy to want extraordinary passion - with our work and in our relationships. Many people today thrive on adrenaline rushes. But day-to-day, contentment with who we are as people can be the best gift we give ourselves (and those in our world.) I share this with you as a gentle reminder to pro-actively seek contentment in your life.

Great advice comes from so many places - from our mentors, our peers, and even our children. I’d love to hear what advice has been meaningful in your life. Feel free to share yours below.