Archive for October, 2008

The Lighthouse

October 22nd, 2008 • Casey Truffo • 9 comments • Related • Filed Under

Near a grouping of majestic seaside cliffs, a lighthouse stands tall and steadfast. Its light alerts ships of the rocky terrain ahead. It informs those who see its light of their current position in the darkness and guides them to safety.

One day a wise seagull perched atop the lighthouse. She noticed a sense of fear and sadness and asked the lighthouse about his distress.

“I’m afraid of the storms and the rain, the wind and the fog,” the lighthouse said. “At night I’m engulfed in darkness, and during the day I’m surrounded by perilous cliffs and treacherous rocks.

“I see the ships in the ocean tossing and turning in the churning waters of the stormy sea,” the lighthouse lamented. “I see the cliffs and rocks veiled in the storms and fog, masked in the darkness of night. I fear for the safety of the ships. They face real hazards, true perilous danger, and I just sit here, beaming this light.

“I want to stop the storms. I want to clear the fog, to move the rocks and cliffs. I want to illuminate the darkness, but I can’t even do that. I can’t offer enough light to provide clear visibility. I can only beam. I feel I’m not doing enough and I’m angry at myself because I can’t do more to help.”

The wise seagull answered, “You are a lighthouse. You cannot clear the weather or completely illuminate the darkness, and you cannot move rocks or cliffs. Lighthouses do not have these powers. You drastically underestimate the power of your light. You are a lighthouse! You stand in treacherous surroundings, in the midst of storms and darkness, beaming a guiding light; a signal of hope and safety.

As the lighthouse contemplated the seagull’s words, he realized his new friend spoke words of wisdom. Lighthouses are not built in safe places. They stand amidst chaos and danger, yet they are not consumed by these forces. They stand strong in darkness, fog, and storms, and while they do not fight against these forces, lighthouses provide a beam of light that allows others to navigate safely through chaos and storms.

***

You are that lighthouse for those in your world. As you stand firm - sometimes on sandy or rocky ground - you allow others to navigate safely through the storms of their lives into the calmer waters ahead.

As your e-coach, I invite you to contemplate the story of the lighthouse.

Is it easy for you to stay put and feel confident in the light of your wisdom?

Do you ever run into a crisis of faith as the lighthouse did?

Do you sometimes find yourself questioning your value or purpose - as the lighthouse did?

Do you have a good friend or trusted confident that gives you wise counsel as the seagull did?

Just some interesting things to contemplate… If you’d like to share your thoughts, you can do so below in the comments section.

Also, as you e-coach, and on behalf of those in your world, I thank you. I thank you for being the lighthouse … a beacon of hope and healing that soothes our souls. I wish you great blessings.

In your service, 

Casey

The best advice I ever received

October 15th, 2008 • Casey Truffo • 10 comments • Related • Filed Under

As healers, we have the wonderful opportunity to both give and receive life-changing advice. I’d like to pay a bit of a tribute to those who have given me wonderful advice over the years.

Here are 7 pieces of advice that have served me well. I’d love to hear yours!

1) You can do or be anything you want - David Perriman (my dad)

Okay - maybe he overstated it a bit. After all I am 5′1″ tall so I doubt I will be playing pro basketball anytime soon. But my dad continually encouraged me and on the days that I think “I can’t”- I remember his words “You are living in a wonderful time - you can do anything you want.”

This advice helped me to become a Vice President of a major California bank in my 20’s. It helped me to start Be A Wealthy Therapist when the “therapist culture” did not embrace me. It encouraged me to start The Therapist’s Leadership Institute dedicated to enhancing the image of therapists and therapy in the general population. And my dad’s advice is what keeps me going today.

2) Choose your clients well - Byron Perkins, Ph.D

One autumn day, I was tearing my hair out after hospitalizing a borderline with suicidal intention. Actually, it was the third “very difficult” client I had seen that day. I saw Dr. Perkins in our suite hallway. I knew he saw at least twice as many clients a week as I did and he was always relaxed and had energy. I asked him “How do you see that many people and still look so well?” He smiled that supervisory smile and said “I pick better than you do, Casey.” Whoa! From that moment on, I made sure that the clients I chose would be ones I felt energized to work with. I found referrals for clinicians and agencies that enjoyed and felt called to work with the clients that zapped me of energy. I wouldn’t be here today without that advice.

3) Actively market your practice - Janeen Cunningham, MFT

In the early 1990’s when other clinicians were telling me the only way I would get clients is to a) get on managed care panels and b) wait for word of mouth referrals, Janeen gave me different advice. She encouraged me to get a business coach and discover how to market my practice to the community. The rest is history. I will always be grateful to Janeen for this advice.

4) Being stupid is sometimes a good thing - Lt. Columbo and others

Okay - I am a dork - an old dork - but I loved Columbo - the cop show of the 70’s. Lt. Columbo was a disheveled cop who looked like he was slow or on drugs - or both. But he was very smart and always caught the killer.

Many a client has heard me say “Help me understand… You say you want *this* but I am seeing *that*? I must be slow here and I am probably missing something - so can you help me to get it?” (This is said in a sweet, non-confrontative way with my Columbo ‘face’ on. In other words I look very confused.) Sometimes they smile. Sometimes they look confused too and start rethinking things. No matter what it has always been one of my favorite and non-threatening interventions. (And, by the way, it works in romantic relationships too.)

5) When you get worried about the money not coming in - go back to the vision and your mission. - Andrea Lee

Any student of quantum physics (or “positive thinking”) knows that we attract what we focus on. At the worst times, when the money simply was not coming in, I’d start to panic and run around and accept clients or do activities that made me look desperate. (Okay I was desperate but acting on it wasn’t helping.) When I pull back and ask “Why am I here on this planet? Why am I called to this work?” - then it comes to me. My passion returns - sometimes slowly like a soft breeze and sometimes it hits me like a cannon ball. As I focus on that passion and do activities that support the mission, the phone starts ringing and the money comes in. Every time. Thanks Andrea!

6) People want to give you money when you are interested in them - Pam Newcomb (my sister)

Many therapists tell me they are uncomfortable with networking because they don’t “do small-talk well.” So, while I did take 3 courses in “small talk” - the best advice I got on this subject was from my sister, Pam. She is a waitress and for many years made more than I did. Her secret? “Get people talking about themselves - the money will follow.” So, I encourage my clients to have a list of 5 questions to ask when they meet new, potential referral sources. For example, “What made you choose this work as your profession?” People love to feel heard as they tell their stories. As they feel heard, they like you. Keep in touch with them and they will remember you.

7) Contentment is often underrated - Lee Blackwell, Ph.D

When I find myself being sucked into drama (or truth be told, creating it) I remember these wise words from Dr. Blackwell. It is easy to want extraordinary passion - with our work and in our relationships. Many people today thrive on adrenaline rushes. But day-to-day, contentment with who we are as people can be the best gift we give ourselves (and those in our world.) I share this with you as a gentle reminder to pro-actively seek contentment in your life.

Great advice comes from so many places - from our mentors, our peers, and even our children. I’d love to hear what advice has been meaningful in your life. Feel free to share yours below.

Trends in Psychotherapy

October 1st, 2008 • Casey Truffo • 10 comments • Related • Filed Under

For years people have been asking me what niche markets are the best. And I tell them that it is more important to consider what you love doing - rather than the latest trend.

Yet there are some interesting developments in our culture that could lead to fun niches - if you love working with these populations.

1) Pets are the new “children” and some people (including the affluent) are giving their pets the same love and attention as children. Don’t get me wrong - I love dogs and cats. (Don’t tell anyone but I used to be the “cat lady” in my neighborhood.) But I am talking about prolonged divorce and mediation due to pet custody issues. Or even couples arguing over how the pets should be “raised.” This could be an interesting niche: “pet conflict.”

2) Gen-Y-ers. These are the children of the Baby Boomers and are very different than their parents or the Gen-X’ers. There can be a market for helping employers (and families) learn how to manage these highly connected, supremely tech-savvy young people.

These are just a couple of interesting niches we have come across lately. But again, I highly encourage you to pick a niche based on what you love (and of course what will make you money) rather than what is “trendy.”

But I am curious, what trends do you see in psychotherapy and how we deliver our services?

I expect we will be going to variable-length sessions when many start adding e-therapy to their mix of services. I envision that those working with executives will be doing shorter sessions via web-cams so the executive doesn’t have to leave the home or office.

Maybe we will be doing marital therapy in private web-chat rooms for couples who are separated by distance such as those in the military. I love the idea of working via technology for those who have disabilities and can’t easily get to a therapist’s office - or for the homesick college student who wants to “check in” with the same therapist she saw over the summer. Therapy over technology could be a Godsend for for those in very rural areas.

I also expect that we could truly offer more to our clients if we developed even better relationships with allied professionals such as attorneys, financial planners and life coaches. A good example of this is the Collaborative Divorce movement.

What do you see as trends in psychotherapy? Do you see new techniques emerging? Do you think we will continue to move toward more “outcome-oriented” therapy? Or maybe you see a return of more psychoanalytic work? And do you agree with me that we will be adding more technological ways of dealing with clients to our mix of services?

Please let me know what you think!

Happy practice building!
Casey